We are told by the dominant culture that some women have it, while others do not. We’re led to believe that Beauty comes down to particular contours of the body and skin-deep dimensions, and even our icons of Beauty aren’t good enough. We then wind up with overly retouched images possessing a soulless veneer in their place.
What’s innately Beautiful about women is reduced to the object of a consumer society, driven by fear, greed, and denial of the natural world. Replacing forested glens and pristine rivers with strip malls and oil mines is the equivalent of taking a natural woman, telling her she should look like a retouched super model, and then waiting to see the devastation that ensues.
What we call Beauty has become a quantified variable, something you can possess or lose, an elusive game hinging upon external data points that take us further and further away from the inner world where our dreams and gifts are born.
What we’ve been conditioned to perceive as Beauty is actually not Beauty at all. True Beauty connects us, energizes our deepest selves, and exalts our timid dreams. It does not evoke jealousy, fear, and self-loathing. True Beauty inspires a sense of awe, humility, and gratitude. It connects us to the gift of being alive, and enrolls us in serving what is life-giving, joy-bringing, and naturally inspiring.
True Beauty can never be owned, traded, possessed, or even fully known.
Beauty is the doorway to the mystery.
To connect with your Beauty, become a Mystery to yourself. Discover something new about yourself each day and revel in the innate Beauty this evokes. When you become stale and familiar to yourself in your habits, preferences, likes, and dislikes, then change! It can be extremely difficult to feel the fresh pulse of aliveness that beats in the heart of our truest Beauty when we’ve forgotten the Mystery.
How do we become a mystery to ourselves? It’s quite simple, really.
First, come back to presence. All we really know about our Self relies on memories from the past and projections onto the future. The most direct way of accessing the Mystery within us is through tapping into our current state, our most present self, our awareness that’s living right here and now. Do we really *know* ourselves? And is knowing even the point?
Perhaps it’s in enjoying the not-knowing, with all the sensations, ideas, pleasures, and moments of sensual delight (that can only be experienced fully in the present moment), that we can fully connect with the heart of our own Beauty.
When we feel disconnected from our own Beauty, we’re generally in some pattern of self-criticism or judgement. Somehow we don’t feel like we’re enough – we’re not thin enough, young enough, successful enough, sexy enough, vivacious enough…. However, underneath this fear of not being enough, we are often masking a fear of being too much. Too big, too powerful, too wild, too desirous for life and everything life has to offer. By gently approaching ourselves as a mystery, we bring our conscious selves below the level of these surface judgments to face these fears of grandeur head-on. The mystery is infinite, we are infinite, and our expression, inspiration, and desires as women hold no limits…
On one hand women experience so much pain by feeling cut off from their Beauty. On the other hand, it’s this true Beauty that we fear most about ourselves.
When we understand this, it begins to make more sense as to why women consistently diminish themselves, criticize their bodies, and keep their desires at bay. It may be painful, but it somehow feels safer that standing in our glory, celebrating our Beauty, and owning our sensual power.
The good news is that YOU get to choose, right now, whether you’ll tolerate playing a small game, hiding from yourself, and depriving the world of experiencing your most radiant self. By going into the depths of yourself, experiencing the rawness of your emotions, the sensual tenderness of your body, and the dark mysteries of your desires, you can begin to radiate the light of your Beauty as it uniquely occurs through you.
All women share the same core principles of true Beauty. For each of us it emerges from embodied presence, and flows from the mystery of our authentic expression. It radiates to the surface of our skin through our sensuality – that wild, liberated, and most natural part of us. And yet, how Beauty manifests through each women is individual, one of a kind, and uniquely precious.
This is why when you deprive yourself from experiencing and expressing your Beauty, you’re not only creating pain for yourself, but you’re depriving the world of receiving a unique form of Beauty that only you are capable of bringing forth.
And it’s this limitless, wild, free, flowing aspect of ourselves that holds the key to our truest beauty.
Unlocking your True Beauty
Face the mystery of yourself by coming back to presence. Focus on your breath. Notice how it creates a rising and falling through your chest and belly. Introduce yourself to yourself. Be curious. Who IS this woman that you are taking a moment to experience freshly, anew in this moment?
As you breathe, notice the sensations in your body… Become aware of any tensions, pains, numbness, or pleasureable pulses – realize you don’t need to change anything. This is simply a process of becoming curious and aware in your body. As you breathe, bring one hand to your belly and one hand to your heart. Imagine a figure eight of breath swirling between your belly and your heart, connecting these two centers to each other. Close your eyes, keep breathing deeply, and ask yourself the following question:
“What is uniquely beautiful about me?”
Just breathe into that question and create space within yourself to listen. What comes back to you in response? Is it sensation, sounds, a clear message, stillness, or perhaps even silence?
Without having to change anything, just be with the experience you have after asking yourself this question. Does it highlight anything new you hadn’t considered about yourself before? Does it connect you to a deeper place within you? Does it connect you to your Beauty?
You can write down this experience and refer back to it later. You can bring yourself through a similar exercise regularly, making space to connect with yourself as a Mystery and ask yourself about your true Beauty.
After you’ve tuned into this answer, you might want to ask yourself,
“How do I express and experience more of this Beauty in my life?”
What comes to you may be surprising. You might feel inspired to take a dance class, walk barefoot on the earth, write yourself love notes, or get out of self-focus by volunteering at the local homeless shelter.
You’re basically asking yourself both a what and a how question. WHAT is uniquely Beautiful about me, and HOW do I experience and express more of this beauty?
Without trying to make too much sense of it, just receive the impressions and messages that come to you. Take a moment to write them down, and refer back to your notes frequently, whenever you want to feel inspired and connected to your unique Beauty.
Whenever you’re feeling too familiar with yourself, remember to shift your perspective and approach yourself as a Mystery. Your being is more vast than the ocean. Your desires are richer than the most precious jewels. Your unique Beauty is as radiant as the brightest star. When you’re feeling dull, be reminded to approach yourself as if you were the ocean. Sit at the shore of your inner self, humbly suspend everything you think you know, and allow the mystery of your unique Beauty to come forth and wash over you like a blessing.