Our Ability to Feel Pleasure Helps us Develop a Sense of Self-Deserving

By Lawrence Lanoff

Cultivating self-pleasure is essential. We process our sexual feelings through our bodies. And because we’ve been taught about the evils of sex, scary feelings often fill our bodies.

Until the early development of agriculture appeared, sex was not evil, nor was it a problem. Once we had stuff – animals, seeds, property, religious lineage, bloodlines – controlling the “purity” of sex became essential to ensuring that our stuff was passed down correctly, through established rules, laws and controlled sexuality.

In this day and age, our frames and beliefs about sex are still based on these ancient rules and laws. Our genitals operate from this ancient framework – and that framework affects our sense of self-worth. This sense of self-worth, our morality of whats right and wrong regarding sex, hides in our unconscious and affects how we feel on a day-to-day basis.

Whether our feelings about sex come from familial programing, religion, experiences or our personal history – all of this affects our sense of genital self-worth, our power and our self-esteem.

When we are less experienced with feeling our own sexuality and self-pleasure, we may feel it with such intensity that it can overwhelm us – and we shut ourselves down. However, it’s our ability to feel pleasure – and allow that feeling of pleasure to spread throughout the entire body – that helps us develop a sense of self deserving.

For most people, the idea of deserving to feel pleasure is unnerving. There is a sense that feeling good will end in some kind of retribution from the invisible anti-pleasure enforcers of karma and heaven.

Fears are not reality. In reality, we are safe in our own sexual expressions and power – especially when we learn to move our own sexual feelings in ways that makes us feel juicy, open, raw and free within ourselves.

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